The very few---if any--of you that read this, know that I work with Special Needs kids at my church at the Saturday evening service every other week.
I wasn't on this week, but I had to go into the room for a second.Two TRUE stories:One volunteer, Maggie, had her daughter, Grace, with her. Grace is about 5 years old I guess and has Down Syndrome. She is one of the sweetest, most open and loving children in the world. When I stuck my head in she invited me to play catch...so of course I had to do it. I also was blessed with a hug from her earlier.
She asked me about Nathan. Nathan is our oldest child and our youngest child. He'd 13 years old, but mentally/functionally he's about 1 - 2 years old. Grace wanted to know where he was, because it is so important to her to make sure that Nathan is included.
What a wonderful thing that is. Grace truly epitomizes the meaning of her name.
On my way out the door and back to main church service, I saw Nathan and his dad--Don--coming down the hall. He is a beautiful child. His eyes are always bright and alive. He loves to jump and rock back and forth and clap. He loves music, if there's not any then I am thoroughly and totally convinced that God has put the very music of Heaven in Nathan's heart.
When I passed Nathan in the hallway, I stopped and gave him a hug and told him hello. I felt a sharp pain in my just below my cheek. He bit me.Now remember, he is severely mentally retarded so he had no idea what he had done. Much like a teething 2 year old wouldn't understand.When I looked in the mirror, there was no blood but there was a mark.
My first thought: I am 38 years old and I finally get my first hickey came from a 13 year old child that didn't know what he was even doing.
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Here is our story about the dentist from the mother of an autistic child, it's a true story. . .
It started when William was three. I was going to be the good parent at least in the area of oral hygiene. After all, you only keep the teeth you brush! I thought it didn't matter if he had autism we would go to the dentist every 6 months and he would get used to it and love to go just like I did growing up. I got the book, we read about Mr. Thirsty and Mr. Clean (hey a social story for typically developing kids, this is great) I was prepared! Off to see Dr. Jan who turned out really to be a man. We can do this yes we can! In we went and on the chair we did not sit. Through clenched teeth he had his front top teeth examined and scared away 3 or 4 other kids. Now I will say Dr. Jan and his crew were very nice as I apologized all the way out the door.
Six months later, I was determined again, this would be a pleasant experience. We were better prepared this time. They had us come the special time. Only 1 other child to scare. They were staffed well, 4 assistants just for us. One gal held his left arm, one held his feet, one held his stump and the other his head and I got the pleasure on sitting on my child doggie style. He screamed, yelled, cried blew snot everywhere. Oh it was just like the great experience I pictured in my mind. They have this device that you can cram in a Childs mouth when they scream so that they don't bit the dentist and are unable to close their mouth. He had his teeth cleaned and examined. I did what every good and holy mother does during this time and I prayed. . .Please God, don't let my child projectile vomit on these nice people and please God, don't let them remember what we look like should we ever run into them in public Amen.
Two years later, same thing and now I am questioning my self as a parent and a human being. Why am I doing this? After all, its just teeth so what if they rot and fall out I can just use my extra ABA money and buy dentures. Now I know I am being irrational, I am not even making sense. My child is now going to be scared for life and will be scared of the letters DDS!
Six months later, I have the routine down, I call give them my name, I spell it out (as if they don't know darn good and well who we are) I remind them I have a child with autism (yea like they ever will forget that!) we now get the special room by ourselves, the people are still very nice and reassuring to me that its ok and he will get used to it. They say it will just click with him some day (now I know they have been sniffing the gas before we get there:-) we see Dr. Will the new dentist ( ok is this a joke on Dr. Will? Is this how they break in the new guy? Did we drive Dr. Jan crazy?) I resume position along with everyone else. The ordeal is almost over, I drop my head in pure exhaustion. Oh it can't be, yes it is, my boobs have escaped my tee shirt!! I forgot the high cut shirt in my hurry to get out the door. This is not how I wanted to break in the new guy! I will pretend I didn't see that and maybe just maybe no one else saw it either.
William is 6 and a half and we went to the dentist yesterday. We are back to seeing Dr.Jan. I sometimes wonder what the ten hand written pages in his file say. Maybe these are the things a mother should never see. I can only hope he does well and doesn't shout at everyone. We get the new assistant (so this is how they break in the new people) she says " Hi William, I'm Sharon" he says Hi Sharon I'm William. He climbs up in the chair and turns his head to the assistant working on the child next to him and says "What's your name?" she answers and then turns to tears and tells me later I'm so glad he asked my name that means he doesn't remember me holding him down! Well the cleaning went very well he answered all her questions truthfully Do you brush? Sometimes Do you floss? No How old are you? 6 etc. etc. He was laughing talking, sharing with the kids around him. (is that pride I see in his eyes?) now I will say he still does not like Mr. Thirsty. When Mr. Thirsty came out he looked at it and said " I don't like that" so he spits in a cup. This is a reasonable accommodation. He did so well I walked away to check on his brother. I can hear William counting steps as he steps up to the x-ray machine. they took 4 different x-rays!!! William says for all the office to hear " Can I come to the dentist again?" My answer, YES we can!!! As I waited for his brother to finish I lost William for a brief moment, I found him leaning over some poor girl getting her teeth worked on and he shouts to me ?hey mom I'm looking at this girls teeth"
And guess what guys? No cavity's!!! I don't believe he is scared for life, I will not be buying child dentures, we are and continue to be welcome at Dr. Jan's, there have not been any more appearances from by boobs and the new guy is still there.
Thanks for sharing Wendy. I'm sure that's what the dentist thought too.
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